That's All There Is

There is an episode of Friends in which Rachel found out about a pros and cons list Ross had made about dating her. Anybody remember that one? He is trying to decide between Julie and Rachel and he lists all these things about Rachel: She's spoiled; She has big calves; She's just a waitress, etc. When Rachel finally starts talking to Ross again, she says, "Imagine the worst things you think about yourself and the person you care most about uses them as reasons not to be [friends] with you."

I'm going to risk being transparent right now. There are things about myself that I am sensitive about. Most of the time I can joke about them in order to cover how they make me feel, but sometimes... (yeah, I occasionally have feelings) Sometimes somebody says something about one of those things, and it just goes straight to my heart (yeah, I've got one of those too).

No, I'm not "just a waitress", and I actually have freakishly skinny legs. I'm definitely not spoiled. Rachel's issues aren't mine. Instead people say I am hard to read; I am unapproachable and intimidating; or (my personal favorite) I seem to have no personality.

You know what? I am quiet, reserved, and I can hide emotion like nobody's business -- especially if I think it's nobody's business. But I don't think it's fair to assume that that is all there is to me. If you're going to reject me, please at least...

Nevermind. If you're going to reject me like that, you probably weren't worth crying over anyway.